Healthy Relationship Boundaries | Emma McAdam
Description: In the video titled “Enmeshment, Detachment, and Interdependence: Healthy Boundaries: Relationship Skills #12” by Therapy in a Nutshell, the host, Emma McAdam, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, discusses three distinct relationship styles: enmeshed, detached, and interdependent. By understanding these relationship patterns, we can improve our relationships, establish good boundaries, and overall lead healthier lives.
Here are the key tips and examples from the video:
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Enmeshment (Timestamp: 0:00 – 1:56): This is a relationship style where you are fused with another person. It often manifests as a strong empathic connection but a lack of knowing what to do with those emotions. Signs of enmeshment include feeling the need to rescue someone from their emotions, having your self-esteem depend on what they think about you, and feeling like you’re walking on eggshells.
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Detachment (Timestamp: 1:57 – 2:56): This is the opposite of enmeshment, where personal and relational boundaries are overly rigid. Family members may come and go without any apparent knowledge of what each other is going through. Signs of detachment include not talking to each other, avoiding each other, and avoiding talking about anything real.
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Interdependence (Timestamp: 2:57 – 4:32): This is a healthier approach to relationships. Interdependence means that each person is responsible for their own emotions and actions, but there’s still a supportive connection. People reach out and help when they can and when it’s beneficial. Interdependence is characterized by high empathy, high boundaries with connection, and a willingness to feel and be vulnerable.
Remember, it’s not about not caring, but about caring in an empathic way while still giving the other person responsibility for their own emotions and decisions. If you see signs of enmeshment or detachment in your relationship, try to increase empathy and boundaries to move towards a healthier, interdependent relationship. This will help you feel more peace and help them overcome patterns that interfere with their growth.
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